How hákarl came to be
by Error401-UsernameNotFound
Summary: Denmark's boredom leads to an unintentional invention. Never underestimate what Iceland will and won't do, Denmark. And watch what you say around Norway, too. Contains no pairings, but does contain little Iceland.


Yeah... this idea came to me at about four in the morning (as most of my ideas do) and refused to stop nagging me, so out came this! Just so you all know, hákarl is an Icelandic dish that is essentially fermented (aka, rotten) shark that is eaten on bread. I make it sound really disgusting here, but it's actually not that bad. Oh, well, this is what happens when you cross me, the internet, and caffeine. Enjoy!

* * *

Denmark was bored. _Really_ bored. America was at England's house, presumably breaking everything the island nation owned, Prussia was passed out in Germany's living room (Germany was none too happy about that), and Sweden was working on something with a power drill, so it wouldn't be very wise to start a fight with him.

What to do… what to do…

Minutes later, Norway received a call from Denmark, who was quite lucky that Norway was in a semi-good mood today.

"Hey, Norge! Wanna come to my place? Of course you do! 'Kay, be there soon! And bring Icey!"

"Wait, what? You idiot, wait until-"

*Click*

Two hours later, Norway and a quite unwilling Iceland showed up at Denmark's doorstep. Denmark opened the door exactly three and a half seconds after Norway knocked softly, hoping that he wouldn't answer.

"Norge! You're here! And Icey! Aw, he's gotten so big!"

Said nation was now trying to hide behind his older brother's legs, desperately hoping that this beast that smelled like alcohol wouldn't see him.

No such luck for Iceland. This beast scooped him up, effectively terrifying the tiny country. Denmark was either oblivious to his screeching and struggling or ignoring it, considering the fact that he kept Iceland in his arms until he bit him.

"OW! Dammit, Norge, what've you been teaching this kid?" Denmark cried incredulously, nursing his bitten hand.

"You asked for it, idiot," was Norway's cold reply. "So, why did you call us up here, anyway?"

"Oh. Um, well…" Denmark, now that he was being confronted by Norway, was having trouble coming up with a reason for calling upon Norway and his little brother. The truth was, he was bored and wanted someone to hang out with/annoy, and Norway and Iceland happened to be somewhat high up on his "call when bored" list.

Yes, that's not a metaphor. He has an actual list. Don't tell Norway, though.

"Well, I… uh… just haven't seen you guys for a while! I wanted to see you!"

"You saw us three days ago, remember?"

"Oh…" Denmark inwardly smacked himself. "Yeah, how could I forget, Norge? You almost killed me when I said that we needed to sacrifice Sweden to stop the apocalypse!"

Iceland was understanding none of this. He didn't know why he and Norway had left their home and gone to this strange country, and he had no idea why he had just been assaulted by this scary person with awe-inspiring, spiky hair. If Iceland hadn't been so frightened and confused, he would've investigated the cause of this phenomenon, but now was not the time.

"So, why are we here? I'm guessing you have Prussia passed out in your living room with his face scribbled on?" Norway was not affected in the least by the Dane's rambling. He had been talking to his fairy friends, dammit, and he was going to need a pretty good reason for abandoning them.

"No, um, I just wanted to… take you guys to the beach! So, let's go!"

"Seriously? You couldn't have given us any kind of warning first?"

"Nope! C'mon, Norge!"

And in this way, Norway was dragged off, barely clinging to Iceland as the Dane ran enthusiastically.

Minutes later, the party had arrived. Norway looked at Denmark with irritation, but he figured that there was no getting out of this, so he might as well go along with whatever scheme was running through the idiot's mind.

Iceland, however, was an equal combination of terrified and ecstatic. He had never been to this part of Denmark's country before, and while he wasn't too happy about this being _Denmark's _country, he had to admit that this place was amazing.

And since Iceland was happy (mostly), Norway decided to be agreeable. At least until Denmark said something stupid.

So, at least until Denmark spoke.

But for now, all was well.

"For now" being about two seconds. Because honestly, Denmark plus Norway plus custody of a minor… how can that not go anywhere but straight to hell?

Sure enough, it hadn't been five minutes before Denmark pointed out something that would've otherwise gone unnoticed. And that something was a dead fish on the beach.

"Look, Norge! It's a dead fish!"

Instead of attempting to explain the circle of life to the axe-wielding idiot, Norway decided to save time and choke him with his tie. To really make the message stick, the poker-faced Nordic country lectured him while trying to kill him.

"Idiot, you couldn't just not say anything and let it pass, could you? But no, you just have to vocalize your every thought and now you've probably permanently scarred my little brother."

"Hey, he probably would've seen it anyway!"

How Denmark managed to talk while Norway was doing his best to put him in the I.C.U. still remains a mystery today.

"No, you imbecile. A dead _shark_ he would've seen. But that was nothing that required a comment."

Iceland, however, didn't feel traumatized at all. In fact, his older brother may have, unknowingly, given him a great idea.

Many years later, the Nordics were visiting Iceland during a conference when they decided to stop for food at a restaurant.

"Iceland, not to be rude, but what the hell is hákarl?"

"Fermented shark."

This response elicited a range of responses- Finland looked sorry he had even asked, Sweden looked mildly disturbed, and Norway and Denmark looked at each other quizzically.

"Is that from the time…"

"No. He couldn't possibly remember that."

Iceland looked over at the normally bickering countries. He raised one eyebrow.

"Couldn't I?"

* * *

That was kind of a weird ending. Oh, well, I feel guilty for not posting this sooner (I've been working on it off and on for about a month), but in all honesty, I'm super lazy and didn't want to. Again, I'm really trying to not portray hákarl in a bad light, but it does seem like a pretty weird idea.

I promise to post a less crappy fanfic later. Although, knowing me, that could take several years.


End file.
